Add new comment

Hi Brian,  I can remember you telling me at the time about that incident in Vancouver. As you recounted the chorus of “But that's not coaching!!” admonitions, I remember hearing the self-righteousness in their voices.   Yes, there is truth to the principle that behavior change occurs when people struggle with something and discover an answer for themselves. However, to slavishly adhere to this doctrine and allow no other options is narrowminded and shortsighted. As a general principle, it is good to be cautious when giving advice. I have found that for most clients, most of the time, it is better to guide them and help them come up with the right answers for themselves in their particular situation. Yet, there are times when well-considered advice is exactly what they need. They appreciate it. And they take action based on it.   Just yesterday, I was coaching an extremely busy, results-oriented executive. When he realizes he is not being effective, he is very open to advice. In fact, he demands it, and has little patience for beating around the bush. Yesterday, however, he was not particularly open to advice, and he stubbornly resisted anything I had to offer him - no matter how obvious it seemed to me.   Yes, giving or withholding advice can be a tricky choice. Timing and knowing what works best with a particular client can make all the difference.    I know that when I am seeking help, I am most appreciative when someone truly understands my situation and provides me laser-focused advice that instantly strikes me as on-target. On the other hand, I find myself extremely resentful when someone dispenses advice in a cavalier fashion, or conveys a sense of superiority that they know what is best for me and I don't. I would take active listening and support over glib advice any day.   Best,   Scott Wimer

Filtered HTML

  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
Go to top